Role Change on Relocation
When I first started working with globally mobile families and expat partners, I was struck by how role expectations change on relocation. How we see ourselves, how others see us, and how we behave in society all shift.
I spoke with women who, in their home countries, were highly educated, financially independent professionals. Petrophysicists, HR partners, editors, consultants, teachers, and doctors. Then their partner was offered an opportunity, and they moved. And while some managed to maintain dual careers, many became financially dependent on family visas, struggling to have their skills recognised in the host country, finding their professional identities erased by those around them.
Being a skilled professional still mattered—to them. But it didn't seem to matter much to anyone else.
Meanwhile, family dynamics often shifted, too. Some already had a family, others started a family, 'since one of us is home anyway.' Two partners working outside the home became one breadwinner and one stay-at-home lead parent. If your family depends on one income, you protect it. And that often means someone's career takes a hit.
But I believe we need a better lens. Not "the working partner," but the working family.
Ask yourself: What does your family unit need to function? Sit down together and make a "family work map": list weekly tasks, caregiving duties, emotional labor, transnational ties, and career ambitions. Who does what, when, and how? Where does your energy go? Can your family unit sustain two careers? If not, what has to change to make it happen?
Don't forget the invisible "village" you've lost—childcare, eldercare, emotional care. Who do you support, and who supports you?
What does the unit do every week? Who is responsible for what? When does it happen, and how much time and energy does it take? Is it important, and if yes, for whom?
Who is supporting the unit? You know what they say: 'It takes a village to raise a child,' but if your village is elsewhere, do you have a local 'village'?
What transnational obligations do you have? This could be parents/grandparents, friends, and family to stay connected with, maintaining language skills and cultural skills for children, responsible for properties or businesses elsewhere...
Here are a couple of downloadable visuals to get you started.